Real Vs. Online Friends
We make fun of calling our online social connections "friends," all the time. They can't be friends unless we know them personally, right?
This Adweek article explores this notion and supposes that all this "friending" is actually making us feel more isolated. We aren't going out and having meaningful connections with people. Instead we are too busy having meaningless, surface connections with folks we may never have met.
Two things. First, I don't know about you, but most of my real world connections are surface relationships too. Just sayin'. I'm not getting intimate and honest with a whole lot of people anyway, so maybe the notion that online is doing this to me might be overplayed. Second, I've actually been moving some of my online relationships into meaningful territory, sharing hopes and concerns and business plans with folks who I know have my back. Even though I may never have met some of these people, I have a deeper relationship with some of them than with many of my real-world friends. Is that sad or just the evolution of friendship?
I'm not so much arguing against the premise of the article as much as looking for perspective on it. Do you feel lonelier online than when out with friends? Am I the only one making real friends in a virtual way?
This Adweek article explores this notion and supposes that all this "friending" is actually making us feel more isolated. We aren't going out and having meaningful connections with people. Instead we are too busy having meaningless, surface connections with folks we may never have met.
Two things. First, I don't know about you, but most of my real world connections are surface relationships too. Just sayin'. I'm not getting intimate and honest with a whole lot of people anyway, so maybe the notion that online is doing this to me might be overplayed. Second, I've actually been moving some of my online relationships into meaningful territory, sharing hopes and concerns and business plans with folks who I know have my back. Even though I may never have met some of these people, I have a deeper relationship with some of them than with many of my real-world friends. Is that sad or just the evolution of friendship?
I'm not so much arguing against the premise of the article as much as looking for perspective on it. Do you feel lonelier online than when out with friends? Am I the only one making real friends in a virtual way?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Erica Mayer on -
I'm a social person, both online and in person. Certain things such as a hug, or face to face conversation simply can't be replaced. But, online participation has brought a completely different level of both friendship, and perspective into my life.
Working as a producer/director, I spend many nights "held hostage" (nudge nudge, dramatic creative speak) by ideas. Fortunately, it's possible to hop online....at *any* time, day or night, and bounce things around with other creatives throughout the world. Also, when encountering personal dilemmas, not only do I have my close-knit group of 30-something year-old female friends in person, but I also have perspective from all backgrounds online at my disposal. In this respect I'm less lonely than I've ever been, better educated, and informed.
Without my "social" friends, I would probably still be sulking, unhappy, in small town Iowa. Isolated. I didn't know I was capable of moving away, getting a job I never dreamed I was qualified for, or being able to move people to act. I was in an environment where most people would have nodded politely and rolled their eyes behind my back, at the mention of these things.
In all honesty...I can say relationships fostered through social media have kept me sane, pushed me creatively, and opened my eyes to what I'm capable of. It's true, if you surround yourself with good, talented people...it rubs off. Can you do that in real life? Of course. But, if you want to expedite the process....log on.
Bob-I think you're right, this is an evolution of friendship. That being said, I'm looking forward to shaking your hand in person someday. :)
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Permalink Reply by Marcus Fox on -
I think it's a very interesting discussion. Firstly, what makes someone a friend? Is it seeing a person and liking them? Or is it really based on sharing similar interests and importantly not necessarily agreeing with them. Obviously liking someone is important on or offline. For me the most important difference is that we as humans communicate on many levels and speaking (or reading/writing) tells only part of the story. So, perhaps we like or friend different people online, as they are different and can be different. Personally, I have few friends, who are both friends on and offline. They are mutually exclusive. The term "friend" is evolving.
Marcus
www.twitter.com/topicking
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Permalink Reply by Stefan Halley on -
I've made several friends online that have transferred to real relationships. I believe that most online relationships start out as surface but like any friendship, the more you work at it, the deeper it develops. In the end, all relationships only flourish if you work at them. It doesn't matter if they begin online or offline.
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