Making Promotion an Option, Not a Goal

I've been in full promotion mode this week. The latest episode of The BeanCast is out and the way I usually promote a new show is to throw a few mentions into the Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn streams, post on forums of similar interest, look for blog posts where I can use the show as an example in the comments and generally try to create buzz.

But something occurred to me this week that made look hard at what I'm doing.

I've recently run across the tactic of people responding to a follow on Twitter with a "...check out my blog..." direct message after following them. And my response to this was surprising. I hated it! I was irritated. I wanted to immediate unfollow them.

Then I stopped and wondered, "How is this all that different from what I'm doing?"

I mean they weren't selling anything. They weren't telling me I could make a million or increase my Twitter followers by 10,000. All they wanted to do was thank me for the follow and ask me to read their stuff. Why should I have such a negative reaction?

What Makes You A "Friend?"

I started to tear apart what I've been doing and look at it critically. Obviously I'm doing something that isn't all that offensive to people. I haven't had masses of unfollows and no one has confronted me, so I must be doing something right. So how is what I'm doing different from what these individuals with the direct messages did?

The first answer came in the fact that they used the DM in the first place. Who are these people to be sending me a direct message asking me to do something? This is a channel for me to communicate one-on-one with people whom I have a deeper relationship with and discuss things that may require a certain level of privacy. The act of barging into this space in and of itself was offensive.

But that aside, this highlights something I've mentioned before. The use of the word "friend" in social networks is an unfortunate misnomer. Really, when you follow someone whom you don't know otherwise and they follow you back, you're at best "interested parties."

These people simply are not my friends and they assumed a lot by treating me as such. They assumed far too much permission.

The Problem With Promotion As The Goal

This above fact is key. The agreement to be interested in each other is not a sign of friendship. And it certainly is NOT permission for promotion. It's agreement that we think each other is interesting and we're giving each other the chance to prove it. So what should they have done instead?

Be interesting, for God's sake!

I think the problem lies in the fact that so many people look at social networking as an opportunity to "promote" their brand, whether corporate or personal. And perhaps it does provide good avenues for doing this. But that's not the reason the network exists, so that can't be the manner in which you introduce yourself.

People use networks to connect with ideas and people. They either want to make friends and goof off or find interesting tidbits of information to help them in life or business. And just like in real life you don't meet someone on the street and immediate hard-sell them on reading your blog. You get to know them first and listen to them. And as the opportunity arises, you provide interesting information that is relevant and helpful to their immediate situation.

It's obvious to me that my random DMers this week did not consider this fact.

The Value Of Optional Promotion

The underlying point of me saying all this, is people are not stupid. They know when you care and when you don't. They realize when you're sharing and when you're taking. And they know the difference between a valuable relationship and someone who's out for click-through stats.

No matter what your marketing goals are, set them aside at first. Make friends. Be personable. Become welcome in people's life. Gain trust, as Mr. Brogan might say. Take time to invest in people. And understand that the value of social media is the chance for people to experience your brand a little more intimately.

As for promotion, make it optional. Put it in your back pocket and keep it there at the ready, but don't lead with it. Wait for that time where trust has been built and you've shown yourself and your brand to be multi-faceted, interesting and helpful. Then pull out the promotion as a means of adding value to your followers, rather than just adding value to your bottom line. Make it a contribution to the conversation, rather than interruptive marketing ploy and see what happens. You may be surprised.

How to sum it all up? Be a giver, not a taker. You'll find a much warmer welcome from your audience if you do.